Hello!

An Introduction

Hi everyone. Welcome to this brand spanking new (heh) blog called The Young Lady across my knee. Who is the young lady in question? My soulmate and the girl of my dreams Melia. Who am I? I am known as Knight. I won't bore you with endless facts about me or my life. In fact, this blog will never discuss my real life at all. Trust me, it isn't that interesting! This blog is about two important things in my life, my relationship with my partner and my interest in spanking. I aim to connect these two aspects of my life in a relationship dynamic called Domestic Discipline or DD.

What is Domestic Discipline?

The simple answer it is a relationship dynamic that incorporates consensual discipline that may include corporal punishment. Anything over and above that is down to the parties involved in the relationship. Lots of blogs out there will give a more specific description of DD. I feel that while this is useful to some, the beauty of Domestic Discipline is that it is a highly flexible dynamic that can be tailored to each couple.

What got you interested in Domestic Discipline?

Melia and I have been what I call “spankos” from a very young age. We may have been born that way but I don't wish to discuss the origins of certain fetishes. Many people have already explored that area quite well. Melia and I have accepted that we have this interest and it is not something to be ashamed of. We met each other a few years ago. Melia was 20 and had never been spanked before. I was older and had some spanking experience but it had never been a huge part of any relationship. When I met Melia it was as if the stars had aligned and all my dreams were coming true. I had met a girl who was honest, down to earth, beautiful, principled and also a spanko. We met on a spanking site. I wasn't really looking for someone at the time. One night I was sitting on my computer and I had this huge impulse to message this girl who had just joined the site. This was very uncharacteristic of me. She replied and we ended up speaking for a month before we met for a coffee. Yes I spanked her on the first date. I didn't intend too but she kept tickling me while sleeping but there is only a certain amount of bratting I can take. I put her over my knee, bared her bottom, gave her a good hiding with my hand and sent her to the corner. Then we hugged, talked, and slept side by side. We didn't have sex but that really did not matter at that point. The spanking to me was a great bonding experience. The closeness you can feel to someone after giving a good spanking is comparable to how you feel after sex. A few months later I was in fully fledged relationship with Melia.

You are probably thinking “hey this guy has it all” but relationships are hard work. I never take it for granted that I have Melia. We are both totally in love with each other. I love Melia so much I would give my life for her. Our relationship still has some issues though. Melia “craves” discipline. She needs to know that I am in charge and that she can depend on me to take the lead. When she doesn't get regular spankings she becomes restless and starts to feel insecure. On my side I feel that spanking allows me to unload certain tensions I have in my life. I like to feel that I am in control and that I can be there for Melia whenever she needs me. Discipline to me is an act of love. It is about showing someone you care enough about them that you want to discipline them. If Melia is being disrespectful then it is much more loving to give a good hard spanking on the bare bottom than to argue or even worse sulk for hours. A spanking (in our case) clears the air and allows us to reconnect with each other. Not all spankings are serious discipline spankings but they all have a connecting theme and that is bonding with my partner Melia. If I am not spanking her for discipline, I am spanking her to let her know that I am still in charge and that she can count on me to be there for her. It reassures her. I tell Melia I love her several times a day but a good spanking, for discipline or otherwise, shows her physically that I really care about her. Why is this an issue? The issue is that Melia finds it hard to submit easily. She will fight a spanking, even if her heart craves it, and sometimes she can say quite hurtful things that she later regrets. On my side I am not consistent enough and sometimes I will back off rather than follow through with my actions and give a good spanking if required. This creates problems as Melia craves discipline and if she doesn't have it she feels neglected and the relationship will suffer. I on the other hand feel that I need to reconnect with Melia and get frustrated with myself when I don't follow through. We still love and care about each other. The question is how do we resolve the discipline issue so that both our needs our met.

How Domestic Discipline work for us?

Domestic Discipline is different for everyone. The only set rules are that it is between consensual adults.

I intend our DD relationship to be based on the following principles:

1. It is consensual

This is a given. Melia agrees that she will be subject to my discipline. I will, however, sit down and work with her what I will discipline her for. I will also allow her to take a “time out” if she needs to before a spanking. Sometimes when Melia has a mood swing she simply cannot be disciplined and it would be counter productive to do so at the moment.

2. The main discipline method will be spanking

We are both spankos so we both feel that spanking is the best discipline method and allows us to connect with each other on an emotional and physical level. Other punishments such as corner time, writing lines, or soap in the mouth are not for us. That is not to say they should not be used in a DD relationship, in our case it just doesn't work. I feel that other punishments can be used with Melia but they have to fit the crime and not just be punishments for punishments sake. You cannot learn much from soap in the mouth other than it is quite yucky. Spanking, while painful, allows the spankee to bond with the spanker. When Melia is sitting on the bed with a red bottom, she is not just feeling that her bum is on fire, she is feeling like the most loved girl in the world. That is why I feel spanking works wonders and is my preferred discipline method.

3. It will have not have any major elements of BDSM

I don't judge people who are into BDSM. Anything between consenting adults is fine and I have a lot of respect for that lifestyle. BDSM just isn't for us. We are not into whips, chains or dungeons. All spanking implements will be personal items. That could meaning taking my black leather belt from my jeans, getting the wooden spoon from the drawer or even spanking Melia hard with the back of her own wooden hairbrush.

4. We will each have set roles

Neither of us switch. I am not a naturally dominant person. Melia isn't naturally submissive. In fact Melia can be quite bossy in real life. She doesn't let people push her around and I respect her for that. I am very laid back in real life but as I have grown older I have started to speak up for myself and not let people walk all over me. Can DD still work if we aren't naturally dominant or submissive? Of course. People have many qualities and I dislike labeling people as being either Dom or Sub. What DD will do, however is let the dominant and submissive sides of personalities come to the surface. DD will allow me to become more dominant and give me more confidence. It will allow Melia to become more submissive and to accept the discipline that her heart craves for, and to trust someone else to have the control. DD will enrich our relationship.

Is Domestic Discipline easy?

NO. It takes ALOT of hard work. The hard work will be worth it in the end though as the dynamic WILL improve our relationship and help us grow us people. It may take 10 days or 10 years. It does not matter. What matters is our willingness to make DD work for us and improve our already strong relationship.

Why did you write this blog?

This blog is not meant to be a guide on how to do DD. Hey I am barely a beginner myself, despite being a lifelong spanko. Instead it is a place to put my thoughts and feelings on the subject so I can help put my ideas into practice.

So welcome to my blog, Any comments, good or bad, are welcome and thanks for reading.

Knight