The emotional aspect of spanking

Melia has a very high pain threshold. This can be both a curse and a blessing when you are a spanko. On one hand it means I can give long and hard spankings without it being too much for Melia. On the other hand it means that the spankings have a limited effect pain wise as Melia states that her bottom does not hurt at all just minutes after a spanking. Melia sometimes talks about how she would like to have a spanking that is so hard she would feel it for days afterwards. Melia's pain threshold is so great however that even 300 swats with the belt does not phase her at all. During the New Year holiday I gave her 2014 spanks to remind her to be good throughout the year. I used my hand, brush and belt. The swats were hard and during the spanking she wiggled and kicked. However afterwards she felt nothing more a dull throb on her bottom. I have spoken with Melia about the physical aspect of the spankings and she is as frustrated as me that, unlike many spankos, she does not really find spankings painful. A consequence of this is that she does not fear spankings.

We both discovered that spankings are more an emotional thing for us than physical. Melia feels most upset when she knows she has let me down or hurt me. I can give her a good hiding with my belt but a good five minute lecture will bring her to tears quicker than a tanned bottom will. What does this mean for our relationship? It means I have to work hard on improving my lecturing than how hard I spank or what I spank with. I am fairly quiet in real life and I am one of those people who tend to keep feelings inside me and not let it be known when I am upset or I feel disrespected. This can create a lot of tension in our relationship. I have learned over the years to speak up more. When I take Melia aside and sternly tell her that I love her but I won't tolerate how she is talking to me, I can see a change in her right away. Sometimes she will fight or refuse to accept that she is at fault. Sometimes I may let her calm down first but I will never leave it so long that she will have forgot what it is I am disciplining her for. Once Melia accepts that she has upset me, she becomes genuine remorseful and usually starts crying. Of course she gets a good bare bottom spanking but the most powerful part of the discipline process is the lecture. I love it when Melia cries. I don't find it erotic but rather I see it as Melia being genuinely sorry that she has hurt me and having a change of heart. Once the spanking is over, we hug and I reassure Melia again that I love her. When Melia upsets me she goes into a really negative mood where she feels that she is not good for me because of how she treats me. Part of the discipline process is letting her know that I love her as a person but I don't like her behavior sometimes. True love is showing a person you care enough to discipline them and help guide them. If I didn't love Melia I would just walk away from the situation. I don't want to walk away. I also don't want to sit and let Melia get away with being disrespectful because it will just allow anger to build up inside me. Instead I would rather just put her over my knee and show her I am in a charge and I won't tolerate her attitude. I think the emotional side of spanking is very underrated as certainly for Melia it is the most effective part of a spanking.

For many people the choice of implement reflects the seriousness of the spanking. When you hear the sound of the leather belt being unbuckled and slowly pull through the hoops of his jeans/trousers, you know you have overstepped the line and you will soon be lying over some pillows on the bed having you bare bottom soundly spanked. The belt is a very powerful implement. It has a very masculine image as opposed to say a hairbrush. There is something very manly about a husband taking off his belt to spank his errant wife. It is a very personal item unlike say a paddle. You aren't just being spanked with a belt, you are being spanked with HIS belt. Yet Melia also finds the idea of being spanked with her own belt oddly erotic. For us the power of the belt lies in the image it creates rather than how much pain it inflicts.

Many blogs talk about different types of spanking such as good girl spankings, bad girl spankings, punishment spankings and erotic spankings. For me there are two types of spanking. There is the spanking that is simply designed to be enjoyable for the spankee. This could be before or after sex or even as a “punishment” for playful bratting. The second type of spanking is the one which designed to illicit an emotional response from the spankee. It doesn't even have to be for an actual offense rather just a serious spanking to say “I am in charge”. These types of spankings can bring Melia to tears and when it happens we feel closer than ever.

I hope I have made sense. If you have any comments, good or bad, please feel free to post them.